Uninvolved parenting

 


Some parents are doting and over protective and some give space beyond boundaries. In India, there is no right or wrong way to parent but rather what works the best for parents and child both. However, the ideal situation is to strike a balance between being over-involved and totally uninvolved. Also called neglected parenting, uninvolved parenting has detrimental effects on child and his development.

What is Uninvolved parenting?

An uninvolved parent has no involvement in child’s emotional or physical need. Uninvolved parents do not take any responsibility in child’s academic, social or extracurricular needs. They just provide basics necessities like food, clothes, and shelter. Such parents do not pay any heed to child’s demand or may consider just few of them. They are dismissive and most of the times, completely neglectful.

What does neglectful parenting look like?

The degree of involvement may vary; some may be completely ignorant, but some may have basic rules in place. Basically, apart from providing bare minimum facilities, uninvolved parents do little or nothing in terms of guidance and affection. They may reject their child outrightly. It might not be intentional in some cases; some of uninvolved parents are just emotionally disconnected.

Uninvolved parents may provide little or no supervision. They are too overwhelmed with their own issues to focus on their child and thus the child gets neglected. Such parents are also uninvolved in child’s academics and school functions. They may intentionally avoid the child and have nearly no expectations from the child.
What are the causes of uninvolved parenting?

It’s tough to see such parenting style in India because it’s harsh and insensitive. However. It exists. People who turn into uninvolved parents are often the product of one such environment. By the time they reach adulthood, they start to believe that it’s the only way of parenting or rather the right way. Others who exhibit such parenting style are mostly busy with their work and schedule that they find hands-off approach easier.

There have been cases where uninvolved parents are often found stuck in their own issues that they do not realise how uninvolved they are in their child’s life. They could be many of these dealing with substance abuse, stress at work, failures or broken marriage.
Ill-effects of uninvolved parenting on child

Children of uninvolved parents fail to accomplish targets: Such children suffer in all aspects of life—social, personal and professional. They do not perform in school, college, at work and are not good at handling relationships. It’s because they hardly get guidance to know right or wrong. They don’t know how to handle people and relationships. They also have no one to celebrate their success or share their failures with, thus, they give up on performing or putting in efforts.

Children get lonely and depressed: Because there is no one to pay attention to them and especially to their emotional needs, children on uninvolved parents often get depressed. As they get no emotional support at home, they find it difficult to form bonds later in life. That’s why they usually have no one to talk to. They also find it difficult to open up about their feeling to others. This makes them depressed.

Children lose their zeal, become independent too early in life: As they are left to be on their own from way too early in life, they fear getting dependant on others. Such children learn to manage things on their own way too soon which makes them lose their childhood vibrancy early on. They learn to provide for themselves early on in life.

They may develop inferiority complexes: Children of uninvolved parents usually compare their family life with their friends. This may lead them to develop complexes. They may blame themselves for their parents’ behaviour. Because they miss on love, affection and a happy environment at home, they may feel they are behind others in everything because of that.

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